Words only mean so much. The way we use them, however, can mark the beginning of a cycle.
If I walk into a room and say "hello, how's it going?" you will have one reaction. If I walk in under the exact same circumstances and scream that same sentence, "HELLO, HOW'S IT GOING?!" at you, you are sure to have a totally different response. Same words, completely different experience. This is a simple example, to be sure, but I bet we can all think of examples of this dynamic playing out in our own lives. The words only hold so much weight, but our tone and energy has a lot to say for the situation. Going a step further, that tone and energy says a lot for how the other person perceives us and our intentions. In the second example, the receiver is now on their heels, frightened, and poised to withdraw. And woe is me if I wonder why...