Life begins in sorrow

Jean-Paul Sartre said 'Life begins on the other side of despair.' I don't know Sartre, so I won't venture an interpretation of this quote. But, when I heard this line some years ago, it stuck with me. I have my own version of it: Life begins in sorrow.

Have you ever felt sorrow? Deep sadness? Profound pain and suffering? The immense nature of grief and mourning? What an honor these are. When you feel these, you feel something special. While it may be uncomfortable and in some cases nearly unbearable, you nevertheless are shot out of a cannon and into life. On the other side, you're a new you. Your life, if you open your mind and your heart to it, has something new. You have a new level you can go to, new emotions available to you. You've survived an event that made you sorrowful, but you've also walked through sorrow itself. It's like a cold shower; you're energized and ready for what's next.

This is my whacky way of looking at deep pain and sorrow. When I see it coming, I gear up. I get excited and mentally and emotionally ready. I'm not consciously trying to protect myself too much or making it into a game, but rather what I'm trying to do is welcome it. Welcome it with an open mind and an open heart. If loss, or change, or death is coming (which, I suppose, it always is), I am open and ready. This is because I know I'll feel more deeply during and after the sorrow. Feeling deeply can be painful and uncomfortable, but if my mind and heart are open, it can show me a life I never knew was there.

Music can sound different, priorities shift before our eyes. Small moments become huge. You're less afraid of the end, and of death, when in sorrow. It's like a period of relief from the annoying daily version of angst and dread, which I see as related to the lurking knowledge that it will all end someday. Sorrow is where we transcend this. We blow past the dread, but not yet into death. It's this odd in-between spot where we can be less afraid of change and loss, yet more empowered to take it on.

When we're in sorrow, and right after, we have a peculiar experience. We have an opportunity, if our hearts and our minds are open to seeing it, in the fog of pain and anguish. When we're in sorrow, and right after, we can feel refreshed and vital. We know the score. We've felt the pain, and survived. Our life has just begun, again.