What is anxiety?

An air freshener- that's what did it. I walked out into the office lobby to check for a patient, and bam, my anxiety shot up. No one was there, not the patient, not anybody. I was safe, warm, healthy, and making money. So, what the hell happened? I got a whiff of an air freshener. My life has included millions upon millions of tiny interactions, some of which seemed threatening to me, for one reason or another. At one point in time, I encountered this same smell, but under different circumstances. There's no doubt that when I did, I was feeling threatened (about to take a test, about to get in trouble, walking into a job I didn't like, washing my hands in the restroom before returning to that job, etc). Thus, the scent became linked with the threat, and like magic, that whiff was all I needed to feel tense and afraid.

Anxiety is a commonly used word. I bet you've heard it said at least one time today, or you will by day's end. But, can you define it? When I ask patients to define anxiety, a funny thing happens: They're never correct, but they're not fully incorrect, either. They offer a response that's close to the definition and is correct in spirit, but isn't on the money. I find this fascinating; it's like we all know what it is, but it somehow hits too close to home to be able to speak clearly about it.

It, in fact, does hit too close to home. That's because it is home.

Anxiety is the response to a perceived threat. The key word here is perceived. You might feel the same level of angst hearing footsteps behind you at night as you do when opening an email from your boss- your perception of what's to come, and what it means for your life, is what matters. Hell, some who rather get mugged or beat up than lose their job. This is why we can't 'conquer' or 'master' anxiety. If we did, we'd be 'conquering' ourselves. Remember: The angst is home, so when we perceive a threat, however 'silly' the threat might be, our very being is waking up and ready to address the threat.

Your life has been lived by you alone. Your perceptions are subjective. Someone's perfume might make you as anxious as would speaking in front of 500 people. The anxiety is simply telling you that you're alive and that there's something here that you care about (whether you 'should' care about it or not isn't the question right now). Don't shoot the messenger- you can't conquer or master your subjective world, which is where your anxiety comes from. Instead, feel the angst-don't run from it- next time you smell that perfume. Don't avoid it. Hang with it, let it wash over you, then ask why that thing was perceived as threatening to you, and what it was threatening? More on this soon...